17

 

Shiina Ringo : 17

 

 

17

詩 : 椎名林檎

曲 : 椎名林檎

 

Now I'm seventeen my school is in the country
Students wear trainers read the same magazins

Now I'm seventeen my school is getting tiresome
Teachers they're so young singling me out

Only like philosophy and after school the time
That's what I call my own time
Nice girls meet nice boys end of school day
While other girls go strait home talking bout soaps'n that

I go home alone like it watching the nameless people
Surfing subways travelling somewhere "Nowhere"

Now I'm seventeen I do not have a title
Depend on no one else busy being kind

Only like philosophy and after school the time
That's what I call my own time
Nice girls meet nice boys end of school day
While other girls go strait home
Talking bout soaps'n that

I go home alone and have dinner in my sweet home
Praying again again again again "Peace"

I see the same faces in school and they say that I am different
I think it's an honour I say it's an honour to B different
I can't go their way now I'm seventeen

Surfing subways travelling somewhere "Nowhere"

I go home alone and have dinner in my sweet home
Praying again again again again

Now I'm seventeen

 

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Janis Ian : AT SEVENTEEN

 

at seventeen

 

詩 : Janis Ian
曲 : Janis Ian

 

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired.
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
and murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen.
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
said, Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve.
The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly.
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity.
Their small town eyes will gape at you
in dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen.
To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
and murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen.

 

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Ringo의 '17'을 듣다가 우울해져버렸다. 나의 17세도 우울하였고, 하루하루 살아간다는 것이 힘겹기만 했었다. 그런 나이. 그렇지만 17살에 세상에 관한 진실을 배운다는 것은 그닥 환영할만한 일은 아니라고 생각한다. 물론, 27살에도 세상에 관한 진실을 안다는 것은 어떤 의미로는 반반인 것이고. (27살에도 여전히 어떤 이유-예를 들어 예쁘다거나 기타 등등-로든 사랑받는 사람들은 세상 참 편하게 살고 있으니까.)

 

17세의 우울과는 다른 형태의 우울이 지금의 나를 지배할 때. 그것은 발전이 없음의 또다른 표현은 아닌가 생각하게 된다. 나는 정말 성장하고 있는 것일까?

 

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역시 이글루스 때 작성했던 글을 가져오는 도중에 노래를 삽입하는 만행을 저질렀다. 후후. 이 글을 쓸 때, 나는 27살이었는데, 이제 거기에 몇 살을 더 먹었다. 상황은 더 많이 변했고, 이제는 저 노래들의 가사마저 아스라한 기억처럼 느껴진다.

 

여전히 성장은 멈추어 있고, 같은 자리에서 헤매고 있는 듯한 기분이지만, 그래도 누군가, 나에게 앞으로 나아가고 있다고 칭찬의 말을 남겨주어 그나마 살아갈 수 있다.

 

2009.07.14. 17:44 추가